I’m not going to give the “thoughts and prayers” song and dance for Boston.  I think there’s a fair chance that prayer was involved that begin with “Allahu Akbar” and will end with picket signs that say, “God Hates Fags“.

Honestly, I just don’t like the “thoughts and prayers” statement because it seems disingenuous.  If your heart isn’t broken then you’re a bad human being; it shouldn’t need to be said.  And if you’re relying on prayer then I’ll spare all of our time by posting a Christopher Hitchens video:

There’s something to be very grateful for however.  These acts are almost exclusively carried out by LOSERS.  Why?  Well, probably because winners are too busy making millions of dollars and banging hot redheads.

smoking-hot-redheads-34

Call me.  Seriously.  I will procure for you a mighty draft horse and the finest of honey wine.

*Ahem*

Now, were a winner to engage in violence we should be worried.  But since the domain of cowardly violence (and bombing emaciated marathon running civilians is quite nearly the most cowardly form of violence imaginable) is almost exclusively reserved for losers, when they turn to violence, they’re just not very good at it.  For that we should be grateful.

Boston, you’re the birthplace of American liberty.  Your politics may suck, but you’re still home to some of the finest brawlers this country can offer.  Just keep punching Boston.  It’s only fitting that such a pathetic loser would strike out at the Boston Marathon, an epic display of human endurance.