Tag: bombing

I Take it All Back (or Boston = Belfast)

This is the personal/political side of this issue.  You can expect a legal post in the near future regarding the 4th Amendment.

Dear Boston:  I’m ashamed of you.

I’m nostalgic.  I’m nostalgic even about foolish things that don’t even make sense sometimes.  I get misty and get to feeling wistful about a lot of things.  One of those things is the city of Boston.  I was insanely excited when I got to visit the city once for a friend’s wedding.  I don’t do big cities, and many of the people are jerks, but I felt a strong emotional attachment to Boston.  This is for two reasons:  first is that I’m a huge nerd when it comes to the American Revolution.  Second, because I’m a boxing fan.

Boston (I’m speaking generically of the town and nearby areas) is the cradle of American liberty.  It was the hotbed of rebellion.  The tea party, the massacre, Lexington, Concord, hell, the Sam Adams Brewery!

abbybeergrab

That’s my girl!

But the Boston I love is the IDEA of Boston.  The reality of Boston?  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  No matter how often we run around talking about how tough a city it is, Boston is proof of one simple fact:  TERRORISM WORKS.

Two punk kids shut down a city with a greater GDP than most countries.  A people who have allowed themselves to be disarmed, Bostonians shut their doors and turned their city into a ghost town.  Consider Boston on April 19th (of all days!) and compare that to how the subject peoples of London acted when the Nazis were bombing the ever loving fuck out of them!  Shame on you Boston.

In 1773, the people of Boston threw rocks, ice, and regularly assaulted their occupying force.  In 2013 your occupying force did this…

…and you called them heroes.

They amassed an ARMY(and in many cases literally an army when they used National Guardsmen) and they caught two little punks, the last one shivering, bleeding out, and hiding in a boat.  You brought out an army to crush an ant, all the while engaging a scorched earth campaign on liberty and especially the 4th Amendment, that would give Gen. Sherman a run for his money.

I love Boston, and I feel like it cheated on me.  Boston may well be the cutting edge on the second American Revolution.  Only this time, they’re demonstrating just how easily the American people can be subjugated.

And, well, despite the fact that the city may as well have been under martial law and I shouldn’t laugh, this is just plain funny:  Boston Police Request Dunkin’ Donuts Remains Open.

Things to Be Thankful For

I’m not going to give the “thoughts and prayers” song and dance for Boston.  I think there’s a fair chance that prayer was involved that begin with “Allahu Akbar” and will end with picket signs that say, “God Hates Fags“.

Honestly, I just don’t like the “thoughts and prayers” statement because it seems disingenuous.  If your heart isn’t broken then you’re a bad human being; it shouldn’t need to be said.  And if you’re relying on prayer then I’ll spare all of our time by posting a Christopher Hitchens video:

There’s something to be very grateful for however.  These acts are almost exclusively carried out by LOSERS.  Why?  Well, probably because winners are too busy making millions of dollars and banging hot redheads.

smoking-hot-redheads-34

Call me.  Seriously.  I will procure for you a mighty draft horse and the finest of honey wine.

*Ahem*

Now, were a winner to engage in violence we should be worried.  But since the domain of cowardly violence (and bombing emaciated marathon running civilians is quite nearly the most cowardly form of violence imaginable) is almost exclusively reserved for losers, when they turn to violence, they’re just not very good at it.  For that we should be grateful.

Boston, you’re the birthplace of American liberty.  Your politics may suck, but you’re still home to some of the finest brawlers this country can offer.  Just keep punching Boston.  It’s only fitting that such a pathetic loser would strike out at the Boston Marathon, an epic display of human endurance.

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